Today we are discussing Intuitive Eating In Real Life Principle 3 Make Peace with Food.
In case you missed it:
- What is Intuitive Eating?
- Intuitive Eating Principle 1: Reject the Diet Mentality
- Intuitive Eating In Real Life: Principle 1
- Intuitive Eating Principle 2: Honor Your Hunger
- Intuitive Eating In Real Life: Principle 2
- Intuitive Eating Principle 3: Make Peace with Food
Intuitive Eating Principle 3 Make Peace with Food
The snapshot of Intuitive Eating Principle 3 is: “Call a truce, stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and often, bingeing. When you finally “give in” to your forbidden foods, eating will be experience with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating and overwhelming guilt.”
Intuitive Eating in Real Life Principle 3 Make Peace with Food
This principle is all about the psychological effects of deprivation (dieting). I find this topic to be fascinating! (Probably why my first undergrad degree was in Psychology). The guilt and shame people feel around food and their bodies is heartbreaking to me.
The Intuitive Eating process, and this principle in particular, requires a lot of patience, kindness, and grace with yourself. This is NOT easy! Dieting rules and restrictions have been engrained in us since childhood. It is going to take time to un-learn and undo these ideas and begin to get back to trusting our bodies and ourselves.
I recently finished reading, The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor and she had some excellent points and quotes that I feel relate to Intuitive Eating and this principle in particular:
It’s time to ditch the shame sweater! Let’s get back to that place of radical self-love and accept that bodies come in all different colors, shapes, and sizes and that is a BEAUTIFUL thing! Wouldn’t it be amazing to live in a world where diversity (of all kinds) was celebrated rather than trying to change everyone to look and be the same?!
There was a really great episode on Season 1 (Episode 4) of Shrill on Hulu where the main character, Annie, attends a Fat Babe Pool Party with her roommate, Fran. It was my favorite episode of the show! The overall message: “Confidence, above all else.” Heck yeah!
What People Are Saying About Intuitive Eating
This principle has proved to be particularly difficult for those in my online Intuitive Eating Focus Group. And this is completely understandable! Here is what some people are saying as they continue this journey:
“I have thought of some foods as unnecessary and off limits because I was afraid of seeing food as a source of pleasure. I just didn’t really eat junk food or heavy food, no empty foods because I thought food should have a purpose (fuel). Since starting this process I have experimented w foods that would have been off limits before. I have found some things I really like and others were more like forbidden fruit and not as exciting as I built them up to be in my mind. It has made a huge difference. At first I felt guilt and that drove me to eat more but as we keep working through IE it is getting easier to eat whatever foods I like and not feel guilty.”
“Dieting = Weight Gain is one of the few things I know to be true because this has happened to me so many times. Now if I even begin to think of restricting calories, I immediately remind myself that this is the one proven path to weight gain for me. This was the conversation in my house this weekend: When I weighed X pounds less than I do now, I thought I was fat. I don’t think I am fat now. Why couldn’t I enjoy life then?”
“When I was in high school, I ran cross country, but I was never properly fueled for this sport. When I came home after practice, I raided the refrigerator and then ate dinner. I don’t think my ‘normal’ diet/lifestyle when I was younger set me up for a healthy relationship with food later in life. But I think this is changing.”
“I’ve reach the point where I am pretty accepting of all foods but I still struggle with spontaneity. It doesn’t matter if it’s “healthy” or not, the thought of eating something unplanned still makes me anxious. I think it has to deal with years of regimented meal planning but, as we are all learning, our bodies are so much smarter and adaptable than any meal plan could ever be.”
YES! Our bodies are amazing machines and they CAN be trusted!
The main focus of conversation and most diet talk is about weight loss and how long-term weight loss is not sustainable for most people (estimated at 95% of people). But it may be helpful to think of it in regards to weight gain, especially when it comes to our fears around unconditional permission to eat (fears are often around our bodies gaining weight).
Consider this twins study, described in the book Body Respect by Lindo Bacon, in which twelve pairs of identical male twins were induced to overeat, adding an extra 1,000 calories to their daily diet 6 days a week for 100 days. As you would expect, each twin showed results similar to his brother’s, in both weight gain and distribution of fat. What was remarkable was the degree of variation from pair to pair: In one set of twins, each man gained only nine pounds, which in another, each gained approximately twenty-nine pounds! Incidentally, when these same men were re-measured four months later and five years later, all had returned to their pre-study weights; in other words, once restored to their normal diets and lifestyles, they returned to their set-points. (More about set-point theory here).
Additionally, in Body Respect, the author cites that the average person consumes one million or more calories per year, yet weight changes very little in most (non-dieting) people. This tells us that energy balance is regulated with a precision of greater than 99.5%. WOW! That is amazing!
Reminder: Making peace with food is a process, and doesn’t have to happen all at once. You can start small by starting with one food you have been restricting and see how it feels to allow yourself unconditional permission to eat that food. Or if you are used to following a meal plan, maybe begin by leaving one snack unplanned or having a variety of options available for a certain meal or snack to choose from based on what sounds good or would feel good in the moment. It’s okay to take this process as slow as necessary.
Continue to follow along on this journey of the 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating!
As always, if you need additional guidance and support via individual nutrition coaching or counseling, please reach out and/or join the waitlist for my Intuitive Eating small group coaching program.
