Today continues our Intuitive Eating series. Today is all about Intuitive Eating Principle 3 Make Peace with Food.
In case you missed it:
- What is Intuitive Eating?
- Intuitive Eating Principle 1: Reject the Diet Mentality
- Intuitive Eating in Real Life: Principle 1
- Intuitive Eating Principle 2: Honor Your Hunger
- Intuitive Eating in Real Life: Principle 2
Intuitive Eating Principle 3 – Make Peace with Food
The snapshot of Intuitive Eating Principle 3 – Make Peace with Food is: “Call a truce, stop the food fight! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. If you tell yourself that you can’t or shouldn’t have a particular food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and often, bingeing. When you finally “give in” to your forbidden foods, eating will be experience with such intensity, it usually results in Last Supper overeating and overwhelming guilt.”
Intuitive Eating Principle 3 Make Peace with Food is all about the psychological effects of deprivation (dieting). I find this topic to be fascinating! And, similar to Principle 2, I believe it helps people to understand more about why diets don’t work.
What People Are Saying About Intuitive Eating Principle 3 Make Peace with Food
Here is what some of the individuals in my online Intuitive Eating Focus Group are saying about Intuitive Eating Principle 3 – Make Peace with Food:
“This idea {of unconditional permission to eat} is so hard to get into my head. We are so conditioned from years of thinking bad food/good food. It does make sense, but will certainly take a lot of effort to retrain my thinking about food. Like {the Intuitive Eating book} says, it is a ‘process'”.
“The concept of unconditional permission stood out to me also. I hear stories of intuitive eaters going through a phase of “over eating” before finding their balance and eventually craving a balanced diet but that initial hump still intimidates me.”
“I feel that as I progress through my Intuitive Eating journey I feel guilty either way. When I successfully restrict certain foods, I feel guilty because I know I shouldn’t be restricting. When I eat freely, I feel guilty for not following a “plan.” I think it is a step in the right direction though.”
“I can relate to feeling guilty either way. I am still working on all-or-nothing thinking. Having been rule-bound for so long it feels strange and unsettling not to have “rules” for eating. Basically it feels like giving in when I go with the “rebel”. It is definitely what-the-hell eating at that point, followed by guilt. It’s like all the years of pent-up restriction and deprivation are all coming out like a tidal wave of rebellion.”
“I can definitely relate to feeling guilty for restricting, feeling guilty for not restricting, and feeling guilty for not listening to my hunger and fullness levels. I have to keep reminding myself that I need to be compassionate with myself. It’s definitely not easy.”
WOW! The guilt and shame people feel around food is heartbreaking to me! I completely understand it though, and that is why I know there is light at the end of the tunnel and “this too shall pass”.
Intuitive Eating is definitely a process and takes TIME. It requires a lot of patience, kindness, compassion, and trust with yourself. Un-learning all the messaging we have received via diet culture is not easy. The dieting rules and mindset have been engrained in most of us likely from a very young age so it is going to take time to shift that thinking. It is new and scary, for sure.
I prompt my nutrition clients to dig deeper – what exactly are your fears? What are you afraid will happen if you allow yourself unconditional permission to eat? Once the fears are identified, the next step is to question “what evidence is there that these fears will happen?”. It’s okay and understandable to have these fears but remember that no matter what our mind tells us, thoughts are NOT facts, and we can have a thought and still choose to act differently.
Making peace with food is a process, and doesn’t have to happen all at once. You can start small by starting with one food you have been restricting and see how it feels to allow yourself unconditional permission to eat that food.
One way to think about Intuitive Eating Principle 3 Make Peace with Food is this: Imagine you’ve been on an island that only allowed certain foods and now you’ve come home and omg look at all this goodness! Can you picture how exciting and tempting that would feel? Likely, you would go all in and eat ALL THE THINGS.
They are new and exciting and so enticing! But, after a while, they would begin to lose their new-ness and your body will learn to trust that these foods are always going to be available so it’s okay to eat them when you want, and to not eat them when you don’t want. As humans, we love VARIETY. And when it comes to food choices, this is no different. Even your most favorite food in the whole world, you likely wouldn’t want to eat it (and only it) all day every day.
Another way to look at this is to ask yourself (regarding food and exercise), “if I knew this would have no effect on my body size or shape, what would I choose to do/eat?” This can help to begin to reframe our thinking and basing decisions off trying to manipulate our bodies and get back in touch with trusting our bodies.
Further Reading
Here is a great article that goes along with this concept of Making Peace with Food. – “Many people are stuck on this idea that each bite of food either brings us closer to or further from good health. Health is simply more complicated than that. Nutrition is important, of course, but it’s not the be-all and end-all of our health. Research shows food rules and rigid diets may even cause stress, negating some of those perceived benefits of restricting certain foods or food groups.”
INTUITIVE EATING SUPPORT GROUP FOR WOMEN
If you have been following along on this Intuitive Eating journey with me or hearing about Intuitive Eating elsewhere and wanting to learn more, or you’ve been doing some learning on your own and are ready to have the support of others on the journey with you, I have the perfect resource for you:
A 12-week small group coaching experience to help you heal your relationship with food and your body, ditch dieting for good, get back to trusting yourself around food AND enjoying the foods you actually like!
Group will be held live via online video >> Thursdays at 6:00pm CST (recordings will be sent out if you are unable to attend live). This group runs once per quarter. FULL DETAILS HERE.
Reminder
This blog and Instagram series I am doing is not meant to be a replacement for reading the Intuitive Eating book or working through the Intuitive Eating Workbook. Rather it’s to provide an overview of the Intuitive Eating concept and principles to bring more awareness to the fact that there is an alternative to dieting and restricting.
As always, if you need additional guidance and support via individual nutrition coaching or counseling, please reach out and/or join the waitlist for future Intuitive Eating support groups.
Free Resource
If you feel like thoughts of food and your body are all consuming, download my FREE Guide – 5 Steps to Stop Obsessing About Food and Your Body
