Are you worried you have an unhealthy relationship with food, exercise, and/or your body?
In today’s diet culture, thin-obsessed world, it can be hard to know what a healthy or unhealthy relationship with food even means or looks like.
Let’s take a look…
First, what are we even talking about when we talk about “relationship with food”? How do you have a relationship … with… food?!
Well, we are talking about how you feel about food, what foods you choose to eat and why, how you feel in your body before, during, and after eating food, what you think or feel after eating, and so much more.
How you feel about food.
When you think about food, do you think of foods as “good” and “bad” or “healthy” and “unhealthy”? What about “fattening” or even “decadent” or “sinful”? Have you ever thought about how those labels you’ve placed on food affect how you feel about food?
What was your relationship with food and eating like when you were growing up? Were the adults in your life talking about food in negative ways? Were they dieting or trying to change their bodies? How did that affect how you felt about food and your body?
Have you gone on a diet before? If so, when and why? Was there a trigger such as an unwanted comment about your body? Or a special event or stressful time in your life? What drew you to the diet and what did you hope to get from it?
If you have dieted before, how did those diet experiences go for you? How did they affect you physically, mentally, and emotionally? Did they have any impact on your relationships or social life? Were they sustainable and did they produce the results you were hoping for?
How do you feel about food today? What is your relationship with food like now? Do you still abide by food rules or have labels for food? Are you worried you have an unhealthy relationship with food?
What foods you choose to eat and why.
Why do you choose the foods you do? What determines when, what and how much you eat? Do you eat at certain times of day or do you eat when you feel hungry?
Do you choose foods that sound good, taste good, and feel good in your body?
Do you struggle to know what foods sound good to eat?
Do you choose foods that are easily available and convenient? Do finances play a role in the foods you choose?
Do you choose foods you’ve deemed “healthy” or “safe”? Does doing so leave you feeling deprived and restricted, often leading to the binge-restrict cycle or feeling like you are addicted to food?
How you feel in your body before, during, and after eating.
Are you connected to your body and how it feels throughout the day? In particular, how it feels before, during, and after eating food?
What does hunger feel like in your body? Can you tell the difference between low, moderate, and high hunger? When does it feel best to eat?
How do you feel during eating? Are you able to taste the food and notice how your body is feeling? Do you eat fast or slow? Are you able to notice when your body begins to feel full and satisfied?
How do you feel after eating? Can you tell the difference between low, moderate, and high fullness? When does it feel best to stop eating?
Are you able to distinguish between fullness and satisfaction? How do you know when you are full? How do you know when you are satisfied?
Are you able to listen to your body’s cues and honor them by stopping eating when you are full and satisfied? Or do you eat past comfortable fullness? Or continue to eat despite your body feeling physically full? Does this happen often?
What you think or feel after eating.
Do you continue to think about food after you are done eating? Do you think about the foods you ate and feel like you were “good” or “bad” because of the foods you ate or because of how much you ate?
What emotions do you feel after eating? Do you tell yourself next time you’ll do better? Or are you able to go about your day without thinking about the food you just ate?
All of these things are important to consider when thinking about your relationship with food.
What about your relationship with exercise?
Do you exercise or move your body? In what ways, how often, and why?
Do you move your body in ways that feel good? Do you listen to your body and take it easy when your body doesn’t feel good?
If you are sick or injured, do you continue to move your body or are you able to rest?
Do you enjoy exercise or movement or do you do it because you think you have to in order to change your body or to be healthy?
What was your relationship with exercise and movement like growing up? Were you active as a child? Did you play sports or run around with friends?
Has your relationship with movement changed throughout your life?
What would your ideal movement patterns look like? Why? How do you imagine it would make you feel if you moved your body in this way?
And what about your relationship with your body?
Your body is your one and only and you have it for life. How do you feel about your body? How do you treat your body?
Do you remember being a young child? How your body was a miraculous tool that allowed you to run, jump, play, etc.? Or if you are not able bodied, were/are there other things that your body could/can do that you were impressed by?
Do you remember at what point in your life your relationship with your body changed? Did you begin to notice the differences in bodies around you, maybe comparing your body to those of your friends or classmates? How did that make you feel?
Were unwanted comments made about your body? How did that make you feel?
How do you feel about your body today? Positive, neutral, negative?
Do thoughts of your body feel all-consuming?
Does the way you feel about your body affect your ability to live your life to the fullest? Maybe keeping you from going out with friends, wearing your favorite outfit, dating, going after a job promotion, going to the beach, etc.?
How do you want to feel about your body? Is it realistic to think that you can love your body 100% of the time? Or could it be more attainable to strive for body neutrality – not letting how you feel about your body stand in the way of living your fullest, best life?
Bottom Line
Ultimately, there is no one answer or clear definition for knowing if you have an unhealthy relationship with food, exercise or your body. Yes, there are screening tools for disordered eating behaviors and for clinical eating disorders. But ultimately, the answers lie inside of you.
You have to define and decide for yourself what you want your relationship with food, exercise, and your body to be like.
Only you can know how your relationship with food, exercise, and your body affects you physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, etc. and how detrimental it is to your life.
If thoughts of food, exercise, or your body feel all-consuming and are interfering with your life, you may have an unhealthy relationship with food and you may want to reach out and seek help from a professional.
If you feel shame, guilt or fear around food, you may have an unhealthy relationship with food and you may want to reach out and seek help.
If you feel distressed, you may want to reach out and seek help.
Remember, you do NOT need a clinical eating disorder diagnosis (or any diagnosis, for that matter) to want, need, or seek help.
Additional Resources
If you are ready to make peace with food and your body, here are some additional resources:
Download my FREE Guide – 5 Steps to Stop Obsessing About Food and Your Body
Individual Nutrition Coaching – if you’re looking for more individualized support, check out my options for working together one on one.
Intuitive Eating Support Group for Women – if you’re interested in learning more about Intuitive Eating in a supportive, small group environment, this is the group for you!
